I hate a lot of people. And it’s okay!

I hate a lot of people but I have reasons. I hate the fact that I’m going to write this article or whatever the hell this is and people will overlook the things I’m trying to say by judging the way I write, my word choices, my sentence structure and paragraph breaks. But I don’t care! I’m just going to speak my mind however the fuck I want to. Because I have to let this out. And I’m just going to use simple words so that people won’t have to google the meaning of a word or have to look for a dictionary to actually know what I mean. Life has to be simple and it is. Be considerate to people who might not actually have rich vocabulary but deserve to know what an article is trying to say. I’m writing this because many people need to know this.
I hate the fact that I felt like shit for many years and it’s because of the people who made me feel like that. Nepal! you’re a beautiful country but some people there and the government there are horrible. I hate the fact that people have to leave their own country and the people who they love for better opportunities abroad because you left them no choice. I hate the fact that they have to go be a slave in an arab country to build stadiums for entertainment. I hate the fact that you made me choose between my future and seeing my mom for the last time. I wanted to tell her how much she has inspired me in every way possible but I couldn’t do it. She didn’t know that. I hate the fact that I am questioning my atheism in hopes to see my mom again and tell her how important she was to me in after life where I might meet her. But I don’t believe that, I wish I did. And it’s okay! She is alive inside me forever.
I hate the fact that some people made me feel like I was some kind of devil and a nuisance for not believing that there’s an invisible person in the sky. Those are the same people who made me feel like an outcast in my own country where we speak the same language. You left me no choice than to flee to a foreign land alone. I hate those people who made me feel ugly my whole childhood just because I had slightly darker skin and wore glasses. You people are horrible!
I hate the fact and actually amazed by the fact that people can kill innocent children to make their invisible god happy. You people are crazy! You had no right to do that. They didn’t do anyone any harm. You killed million hopes and ideas with those children which could some day benefit this world. I don’t consider you people human beings. Same goes to the group of people who recently killed a guy who wanted to make others laugh.
Let’s talk about my motherland again. I hate those people in my culture who tell my dad that in order to be happy, his daughter needs to get married and be settled with a guy from the same culture by now and make him worry about his daughter. I am happy dad! There’s nothing to worry about. You know why? Along with the assholes and horrible people in this world, there are people who are wonderful and are making your daughter happy in this foreign land where I speak different language than I speak to you. I’m sorry! in fact there also are people here with whom I speak the same language and are actually awesome.
Talking about America, I hate the corporate culture here that allows their employees to be treated as a commodity rather than a human being just because they signed or did not sign a piece of paper. You people are horrible!
Yeah! I hate a lot of people and it’s okay. All that matters is happiness. And everyone deserves to be happy. Just don’t surround yourself with assholes who make you feel like shit. Do whatever that makes you happy but yeah don’t do drugs. It’s bad.

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To eat or not to eat meat

Why are people so concerned about what other people eat? Why don’t they just eat and let other people eat what they want? Why do they have to interrupt you while you are satisfying your taste buds with the food you like? Why do I have to explain my fellow Nepali friends about my beef eating habit? Why do they treat me like a beast when I reveal my liking for beef?

Last night I went out with my friends to Texas Steakhouse. There was this new guy that my friend had invited to dinner. He seemed like a quiet guy until I ordered steak. I don’t usually order steak but it was Texas Steakhouse. I couldn’t help it. I mean you don’t order chowmein when you go to a momo pasal.  After I ordered steak the new guy turned to me and asked, “Why do you eat beef?” Suddenly this quiet guy wasn’t so quiet. As much as I was annoyed by his question I said, “I ate beef as soon as I landed in US. It was an accident but after that I just don’t differentiate between the types of meat I eat”. He was not satisfied with my answer and with a sarcastic tone he said, “Oh, I understand! People are so Americanized these days. They forget their culture and the place where they come from. It’s not just you I know many people like you.” I just wanted to eat. I was not in the mood for a discussion. And whatever the fuck that meant when he said “Americanized”. I hate it when people say that. But I smiled and said, “Well, people are not as cultured as you are.” I could tell by his face that he was not done with the discussion. He obviously had planned to ruin my dinner.

I was about to eat when he again interrupted me and asked if I would eat dog’s meat. I laughed and said no. Then he went on about why would I differentiate between the meat now. It was such a ridiculous question. I thought to myself for a while. And then I just blurted out these points below:

  1. I never had a cow as my pet.
  2. I have had dogs as my pet.
  3. I have never named a cow in my whole life.
  4. I have named my dogs.
  5. A cow never welcomed me home when I got back.
  6. My dogs always welcomed me when I got home. They seemed so happy.
  7. I was chased by a cow with pointed horns when I was a kid.

After I unleashed the beef eating beast in me he laughed.  Then he carried on with his food and turned back to the quiet guy again. I remember when I was a kid; every Dashain, a goat was brought home 15 days prior to the festival. My brother and I would feed the goat for 15 days and would treat it as a pet. The whole Dashain we wouldn’t eat the meat because we knew the goat. Since, we both never ate meat during the whole festival; my parents stopped bringing the goat to perform the sacrifice ritual. So, my point is that I think I can eat animals with which I don’t have any sentimental values.

Waitress Blues

My first job in the U.S. was waitressing (I can see the red underline below the word ‘waitressing’ but I’m pretty sure it is a word even if it is not a real job). I have had a lot of other kinds of jobs in between. Now, I’m back to waiting tables. Oh how inspirational! Anyways, this is the only job I can do when I go back to school because the work schedule is pretty flexible with my school schedule.

At first you think this is temporary. But then and again you are bound back to the same old routine until you are qualified to get a “real job”. I start my day by asking a very important question to strangers. I need to ask them what they really feel like eating or drinking. The Americans they don’t answer the question right away. They go-on about how they got into eating Chinese food and all that shit I don’t really care about. I have to nod and pretend how interesting their story is with a smile. And this is not a single costumer I’m talking about. All these people have a need to explain why they are eating certain food. At first I thought they are really friendly but after some point this gets really annoying.

Also this job teaches you to be a racist. It was my second day at the job. My manager tells me to watch a specific dude carefully. I looked at that dude and he was a black guy (African-American) in his 20s with his pants hanging down his knees. Apparently they have the record of not paying the bills and running away through the back door. And of course, we have to pay the unpaid bills. I was thinking to myself “Man, this manager is a racist. Just because he is black he won’t just run away. He looks like a nice guy.” Well guess what? That fucking guy ended up running away through the back door and I paid his bills. Of course, he had ordered the most expensive food on the menu .That Asshole! I felt like a fool and listened to my manager’s I told ya! speech. After that incident I carefully watch those guys. I hate to do that but I need to watch them.

Every other week we need to attend this pointless staff meeting. The manager asks us to be enthusiastic about the job because it shows in our work. We need to hear about the process of making a certain kind of food that is new on the menu so that we can explain to the costumer what really goes in the food. Now, we have this paper with the ingredients of food and we need to learn that. Along with my college papers I need to write, I need to read this fucking piece of paper with the ingredients of this weird Chinese food.

I need to be nice to all the people because we are paid based on that, even if you are serving the most arrogant son of a bitch in the world. I need to say sorry if the food was not good even if I did not make it.  I need to forget where I came from and how my life was like back home. They don’t care what caste type I belong to or what my ancestors did in the history of Nepal. All I need to do is the job. And I get paid according to that. It helps me pay my rents and tuition fees

All of these stories are sadly true. I wish I had made this up 😦  In short I hate my job. But how pathetic would it be if I loved my waitressing job? That would be really sad. Hopefully, in near future I will happily quit this for a nice job. I will wake up every morning getting excited to get to work (yeah right! Haha). At least the day won’t start by saying “Man, I so want this day to be over soon”.